"What does God think about divorce?"
I've been asked that question hundreds of times. Anyone who gives you a simple answer to that deserves to be ignored, and anyone who expects a simple answer to that needs to get real.
IT'S COMPLICATED
My second major encounter with "divorce" (cf. Part 1) happened in the rigors of multiple theo-academic courses at Dallas Seminary. The school's Th.M. curriculum required that not only we well understand the common Greek language (Koine Greek) in which the New Testament gospels and letters were written, but also to "exegete" this revelation. That word means, essentially, to "carefully observe at all the grammar, history, and context of the words and phrases" and then, accurately "take out" of the written text what the author(human and divine) intended to say.
A key exercise in those days was to exegete passages which spoke to marriage, divorce, and remarriage. Because marriage was a big deal in the early church like it is today, there are alot of passages to "look carefully" at and (hopefully) get the meaning of God's words right. Key NT passages include Matthew 5, 19, Mark 10, Luke 16, 1 Corinthians 7, Ephesians 5 and a number of others -- which all tied back into key OT passages like Genesis 1-2, Deuteronomy 24, Ezra 9-10, and don't forget to throw in there the Song of Solomon, Malachi (2) and the not-so-minor prophet named Hosea.
Young pastors-in-training were to study all those passages and then write a "divorce/remarriage paper," a summation of what you came to believe about marriage, the possibility (or not) of divorce, and the possibility (or not) of remarriage.
The bottom line question was - "If God has joined you together (into a covenant, one-flesh relationship for life), is it EVER right for man to separate it?" From what you can read, Jesus said "Nope" (Mark 10:9), but he also admitted that "Moses permitted divorce because of the hardness of men's hearts." Still, Jesus said, "From the beginning..." God has never wanted any man to separate what He has joined (10:6-7).
Yep...it was a bit overwhelming and complicated. But the intent was to launch you into ministry with some kind of consistent, Biblical position on life's most entangling relationship - MARRIAGE!
IS THERE A SHORT VERSION (TO WHAT GOD HAS SAID ON THIS)?
I've had over 30 years to mull over my original "marriage/divorce/remarriage" paper. I won't rehash with you my early-edition conclusions. I believe my original convictions were, in the main, honestly come by and accurate. But short of a 20 page paper, let me give you a (non-inspired) "short version" on what God's word teaches.
#1 True marriage is essentially a God-creation between two people of opposite genders; it is not merely not a human, civil union or arrangement. The heart of a marriage is a promise, a vow, a covenant - made with God first, with one-another second, and before witnesses to enter and be faithful to a ONE-NESS that God supernaturally creates, and that sexuality (both the joy of sensuality and reproduction) celebrates. It is a one-ness that man is not to flee-from or separate. The death of one's partner alone brings this covenant relationship to a close. Jesus affirmed that even in a broken, hard-hearted world, God is still in the true marriage business.
The fact that societies and governments have made marriage more a civil union or contract does not diminish from the true character of what God does when a man and a woman pledge themselves to one another in a covenant vow. It is clear from passages like 1 Corinthians 7 that God regards all marriages (between non-believers, between a believer and a non-believer, and between two believers) as a relationship in which He has created a one-ness.
#2 All people, and especially those who have a redeemed relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ, are to be faithful in the covenant vows they've made to their marriage partners.
Scripture affirms it is to be a life-long faithfulness. This faithfulness is best pictured in Jesus' faithful love and nurture to His bride, the church, and the church's faithful submission and love to her husband, the Lord Jesus (cf. Ephesians 5:22-33).
#3 All marriages face a host of substantial challenges which seek to separate the ONE-NESS God has created. Marriage partners need more than their own resources to stay faithful and fulfilled in their marriage; they need the presence and empowerment of the Spirit of God. When partners simply rely on themselves apart from a humble dependence upon the Lord, a marriage can quickly degenerate into frustration and failure.
#4 All marriages are to take their examples to persevere in their covenant vows from the faithfulness of God toward His often (adulterous) people. One compelling example is Hosea, who married a very unfaithful bride, but continued to love her through extraordinary difficulty...an example of God's relentless love and faithfulness to His promises to Israel.
#5 When marriages are experiencing difficulty, there are resources from God available for the partners to grow and persevere through the struggles, so that Christ can be formed in the partners and in the relationship. I Peter 3:1-7 offers some key instruction, perspective, and resources. We can do "all things" through Him who gives us strength (Philippians 4:13).
BOTTOM LINE - ENTER TO STAY
God doesn't think much of divorce. He does hate it (Malachi 2:16). His righteous character is grieved when promises taken are promises broken. It is such a deeply intertwined, intricate ONE-NESS that taking it apart simply tears and destroys everything around the shredding. The old marriage meditations would say that "it is not something to be entered in to lightly, but advisedly." In other words -- and Jesus affirmed this -- we do well to well consider what this relationship really is, and then enter it only under the call of God upon the heart.
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